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Page of Cpin42's best tweets

@Cpin42 : Even the great philosophers made mistakes. Aristotle, for example, believed that groove was in the brain.

@Cpin42: [strangers in goat masks dance around a bonfire as I’m being tied to a wooden stake] It's getting pretty late guys, I should probably head out

@Cpin42: Has science gone too far?

@Cpin42: A priest, a rabbi, and a duck walk into a bar. All three of them are Scarlett Johansson.

@Cpin42: My dad had a weird sense of humor. When I was 5, I tried to "dig a hole to China." The next day when I went back to dig more, there were egg rolls in the hole

@Cpin42: COP: Can you describe the man who shot you?

ME: He seemed mad

@Cpin42: Big fight at Bible group. Jeff said Jesus was a liberal and Cheryl said Jeff gave her chlamydia

@Cpin42: 12 years ago today, my brother gave me one of his kidneys. I still can’t believe he did it. I wasn’t even sick.

@Cpin42: Got fired from PetSmart for unionizing the hamsters

@Cpin42: I’m at this weird place in my life right now where I’m being chased by police helicopters