@CruisinSoozan
My birthstone is a marshmallow.
@CruisinSoozan
@CruisinSoozan
Sometimes I shock myself with the smart shit that comes out of my mouth then other times I try to start the microwave with my debit card PIN
@CruisinSoozan
Life starts with everyone cheering when you poop and goes drastically down hill from there.
@CruisinSoozan
Anyone want to do the laundry for me? Im exhausted. I can pay you in beanie babies or hot monkey sex.
The monkey’s name is Earl. He bites.
@CruisinSoozan
The dog almost ate the bird tonight.
It was like a Dateline episode.“He kept to himself, but on the evening of June 6, he snapped.”
@CruisinSoozan
I don’t want to alarm anyone but I’ve purchased a ukulele. Soon as I can jam, there’ll be auditions for my band behind the 7-11.
NO WEIRDOS