If you piss me off bad enough and tell me to leave you alone, I will take 30 Adderall and send you cat pictures every 3 minutes for 6 days.
Just realized all my tweets are about my genitals . Time to change the subject.
Do you believe in aliens ?
If so , do they have genitals?
Blowing your load on a girl counts as a baby shower right ?
If you’re having a bad day , just remember …
All of you are funnier than Dane Cook .
The first rule of Mormon fight flub is go door to door talking about Mormon fight club .
Hitchhikers won’t kill you if you kill them first.
Fool me once, I buy a gun. Fool me twice, I pull the trigger.
It’s pretty funny that the kid voted most likely to succeed in high school just made my value meal.