Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

Follow us on Instagram. In case you are wondering "But Why!". We post nice "night mode" funny tweets that are easy on your eyes when you are lying down on your side and night and scrolling through your phone while trying to get numbed up and forget the day. Click here to follow us

Page of Dadpression's best tweets

@Dadpression : Asked my kid what kind of donut he wanted and his answer was "six."

@Dadpression: The first bird to chew food for her kids was probably just trying to leave for work on time.

@Dadpression: Demonstrated a somersault for my kid and almost died.

@Dadpression: Before I had a child, I never knew that quietly disposing of a balloon could feel so much like a murder.

@Dadpression: "This may be our 85th viewing of this movie, but we'll watch it as intently as if it was only our 23rd"
-Toddlers

@Dadpression: Toddler tech support: "Did you try throwing it and crying?"