Reminder that today is Make Your Kid Lunch for School so They Can Forget it at Home Day.
Another day another opportunity to tell my toddler that if she doesn’t want to see my nose boogers she could try not looking up my nostrils.
My husband is a dentist now! At least he acts like one asking me questions while I’m very obviously brushing my teeth.
My 5 yo aimlessly wandering around the living room looking for the remote muttering “why is this commercial so long?” is the embodiment of what society has become.
5 yo- *being incredibly loud and obnoxious* I’m trying to bother that fly because maybe he will get annoyed and die.
Apparently I am the fly.
At soccer today my 5 yo realized one teammate was actually his friend from school. It’s been a month. This is everything you need to know about his attention to detail.
5 yo- Why are you always with your husband?
Me- *questioning everything in my life* Because we live together?
OH MY GOD I’m not giving you my money!
-my 5 yo replying to radio commercials.
My parents hardly knew who my kindergarten teacher was but my son just found out who his first teacher will be and I can now tell you where she lives and the names of her sisters.
The trick to taking your toddler to a movie is making sure there is another toddler in the theatre who is behaving worse.
Me- *goes into the office for the first time in 15 months*
5 yo- *becomes a mom* was it good seeing your friends today?
I accidentally made eye contact with someone on a zoom meeting. I quickly looked away dripping in discomfort. Then I remembered it was zoom and we didn’t make eye contact at all, she looked at her camera.
A neighbor asked my 5 yo if we had fun plans this weekend and he responded “we will probably go on a walk after dinner.”
Buckle up folks, things are about to get crazy.
Kids are hard to predict; and living in 2021 with two young kids who sing along to “Who Let the Dogs Out” was not what I expected.
Sitting in my backyard is just yelling over the fence at the neighbor kids letting them know my son isn’t home yet.