I’m convinced that if Earth explodes all the cats will land safely on the moon, on their feet.
Psst, hey wake-up, why are there no Oreos in your pantry?
Find you a girl that can lay eggs.
A new fast-food joint called, Bish Wut U Want. The drive-thru greeting will be, Bish Wut U Want?
Doesn’t it alarm some of you that when ya leave the house a flock of crows follows everywhere you go.
*finally drifting off to sleep*
Neighbors dogs at 3AM: BARK BARK BARK-WHO TRYIN’A FUK-BARK BARK BARK
At Walmart during the holidays like..
Screw this, I’m going in search of buried treasure. I’m outta here. *stubs toe on coffee table*
I’d like to live in a small town where they still do festivals, play fun games and raffles, bake pies and other delicious food, and sacrifice to the Gods..
Of course folks gravitate toward you. You’re non-threatening and likeable. Same qualities as a serial killer.