Sensible dad: I’d like to buy 3 ‘fleeks’ & 7 ‘swags’ for my son.
“Sir this is Urban Outfitters”
Do you have any ‘baes’?
Don’t make me take off my belt because then my pants would fall down and my body looks like an egg on toothpicks.
I’m jealous of turtles because if they don’t want to talk to someone, they’re like “Nah, dude, busy in my shell right now. Come back later.”
If you have a flip-phone, you are probably an undercover cop.
Neat, your girlfriend is made out of the same stuff as your air guitar!
Shake what your momma gave ya!
*shakes old decorative wreath*
(pine needles and holly berries go everywhere)