12: I can’t wait to be an adult.
Me: I can’t wait for you to find out how wrong you were about this.
“you’re the biggest narcissist i’ve ever encountered!”
why are you making this about you?
my mom has been using 💦 to describe crying and when I told her to stop it, she made me tell her why and now it’s so quiet in here.
A woman just called me ugly and the only thing I could think to say back was “only on the inside”.
A woman just called me ugly and the only thing I could think to say back was “only on the inside”.
A married woman hit on me today and it was the most uncomfortable and awkward moment I’ve ever had with my wife.
“Do you believe in past lives?”
I don’t even believe in the life I’m currently living.
A married couple with no kids just asked my wife and I to go out for drinks at 9:30 tonight.
They did it with a straight face too.
“What’s it like having a two year old boy?”
*throws a toy car at his face*
Like that.
My wife bought a rice cooker today. I guess we’re going to eat a ton of rice over the next few days and then never again.