Everyone else could have their eyes shut, runny noses and food in their teeth but if I look thin, it’s a GREAT group photo.
Parents, stop giving your kids these crazy names. I just found a love letter my son wrote to a girl named “Steven!”
Dad passed away several years ago but every Thanksgiving with the family all together I can’t help but think, you lucky bastard.
Never had a gay thought in my life but when Daniel Craig jumps onto the back of the train & adjusts his cuff I now kind of get it.
Paralegal activity. #BoringHorrorMovies
My wife CLAIMS to be my best friend but she didn’t seemed all that psyched when I bragged about this girl at work I just made out with.
“No woman, no cry.” – Tarzan breaking up with girlfriend.