@DarzieDAMN

That artsy picture you took of your Jack Daniels really spoke to me.

It said “This persons an alcoholic but still takes decent pictures.”

@DarzieDAMN

My grocery list is just a piece of paper saying don’t run into anyone you know

@DarzieDAMN

If you’re a girl on twitter and you have no pictures of yourself, I’m automatically assuming you’re a cat that learned to use a computer.

@DarzieDAMN

It’s not that I accept the Terms and Conditions. It’s just that I would rather not spend the rest of my life reading them.