“The curb is just a reverse pothole” I whisper to myself as I hear the wheel scraping against cement.
I like the word amongst. That’s it.
Talk amongst yourselves about it if any amongst you feel the need.
No thanks, social drama. Puberty sucked enough the first time around.
The 7 dwarfs of allergy season…
Sniffy, Sneezy, Stuffy, Wheezy, Runny, Itchy, and Dopey.
It’s taking this nurse 20 minutes to get my chart ready for the doctor, every few minutes she asks which hand is numb again.
Ridiculously implies the existence of acquirediculously.
I wasn’t craving chocolate bunnies until I opened the twitter. Thanks guys, now I have to go buy Easter candy before it’s on sale.
I’m exceptionally skilled at accomplishing absolutely nothing while screwing something up, therefore accomplishing less than zilch.
Conjunctivitis implies the existence of projunctivitis.
I was led to believe there’d be secret missions, stamps in my passport and fancy galas.
I’m supposed to be Gen-X but I feel like Gen-FML is more fitting.
We all know cake and pie are not the same thing so if I ask for cake and you give me pie I’ll probably definitely still eat it.
Sometimes, when I think about the word ruminate, it gets embedded in my mind, and I just can’t stop thinking about it.
This year I’m gonna get healthy and start dating and find a husband and shit rainbows and ride a unicorn. It’s good to have goals.
My version of dry January is just trying to see if I can get through the month without any poopcidents. So far it’s been an epic fail.