@Donna_McCoy

The only difference between an outpatient mental health facility and a bar is the lighting.

@Donna_McCoy

I thought the brakes on my car were squealing but it was just a Mariah Carey song on the radio.

@Donna_McCoy

I only do cardio because it’s impossible to stalk someone you can’t keep up with.

@Donna_McCoy

I can’t remember the ending of one single movie I’ve seen since they started selling booze in theaters.

@Donna_McCoy

Getting away from it all is great until you realize there’s no pizza delivery.

@Donna_McCoy

Not to say I’m reckless, but my guardian angel wears a blindfold.

@Donna_McCoy

Why eat high-calorie yogurt when you can just have ice cream for breakfast instead?

@Donna_McCoy

Until I got married I didn’t even know it was possible to chew bubblegum arrogantly.

@Donna_McCoy

I can really relate to pi because I also keep going forever after the point has been made.