Be the reason why the lights flicker when you enter a room
Practice self-care like vampires: sleep all day, eat all night & outlive everyone who has ever loved you.
I’m goth enough to know that when your basement door opens for no apparent reason, you walk down those steps.
Be the reason why your priest clutches their rosary when they look at you.
Don’t invite me over unless you are trying to secretly transfer a cursed object to me.
I like my women like I like my ancient staircases, curvy and can send me straight to hell.
Hungover? Hydrate. Anxious? Hydrate. Want to advance Satan’s agenda here on Earth? Hydrate.
If you know someone who is effortlessly happy all the time, that’s a demon. You’re friends with a demon.
If you’re in an old house & the basement door opens for no reason, go into that basement.
Horror movies have given me an unrealistic expectation about finding an armoire with a false back where a ghost lives.
Be the reason why a nun does the sign of the cross when she looks at you.
Don’t invite me over unless you are trying to secretly transfer a possessed artifact to me.
If a demon ever tried to possess me my first thought would be: enjoy that debilitating anxiety my dude.
Mulder: it’s some sort of over-fed grim reaper judgment figure.
Scully: we’re at the mall, Mulder. That’s just Santa.
I love how insurance companies offer “accident forgiveness” like they’re some sort of ancient deity pardoning your existence.