@DudeImShawn

Math problem:
Q: John has 32 candy bars. He eats 28. What does he have now?
A: Diabetes. John has diabetes.

@DudeImShawn

Live today like it’s your last.

Pay your bills and wear a condom just in case it isn’t.

@DudeImShawn

If she’s “one-in-million” there’s 1,344 of her in China.