Shark Week is just another made up holiday to sell more sharks
Find out if the NSA is listening to your call by singing SWEET CAROLINE and if more than one voice responds with bum bum bum THEN YOU KNOW
Just saw a dolphin with a tattoo of a college girl struggling for individuality and freedom from her middle class parents
I think my abs look pretty good for a mother of 2 kids.
I don’t have kids.
There’s no I in anxiety. Wait. Yes there is. Oh my god oh my god oh my god
Name brands really are better. For instance, I just found out that the Tide pen works much better on stains than regular pens
“Move miss, please get out of the way. Please get out of the way, miss. Please get out of the way.”- Ludacris’s cousin, Kurteous