what other people think of me is none of my business. unless it’s bad, then i need to know everything
two things can be true at once. for instance, I love my children more than anything, and I am also constantly counting the hours until bedtime to the goddamn second
be myself? the person who got me into this mess????
“just a suggestion :)” is the most passive aggressive aside of all time. here’s my cute little suggestion cloaked in invisible knives
eavesdropping at a coffee shop to this girl talking for an HOUR STRAIGHT about how she can’t find a good man and she hasn’t let her friend say even a single WORD. like sweetheart the call is coming from inside the house
my high school crush made me a mixtape and on the inner lining wrote “date?” and I didn’t see it until TWO YEARS LATER when he already had a serious girlfriend and tbh I’m still upset about it
hi friends- for the new year I’m taking a break from life so I can focus on social media. if you need me you can find me here, constantly
someone once broke up with me because they “had a big crush on this random person at a party” and it made them realize they weren’t that attracted to me. I moved on and got married and years later found out that I married THE RANDOM PERSON AT THE PARTY!!!!! Lol suck it
gen z girls can dress like 1998 all they want, but they’ll never know the joy of your parents having literally no way to get ahold of you until u come home
Can you explain the gaps in your resume?
Yes that was when I worked really weird jobs that I don’t want you to know about
I met my amazing husband in my 30s on OkCupid and you can too! I don’t think he ever deleted his profile
“rejection is god’s protection” ok but from what? Happiness?!?
writing an email takes 5 hours. 4 hours and 55 minutes to avoid and stress and obsess about it and 5 minutes to write it
straight girls are like “I think my boyfriend’s the Riverside Strangler, but besides that he’s great!”