@EmissaryKerry

Murder hornets don’t sting as bad as accidentally opening the front camera.

@EmissaryKerry

No one prepared me for getting hotter with age, yet here I am handling it.

@EmissaryKerry

You two just need to get out more.

– Me, giving Abe Lincoln relationship advice

@EmissaryKerry

I’ll be with you every day, always and forever.

Me: you are laundry, stop talking