Brie: France
Feta: Greece
Jack: top of the beanstalk
I always bring a glass of water to bed with me so I have something to knock over in the middle of the night
Buck naked
Cake by the ocean?
*scoffs*
Cake is a terrible beach snack
buy a fitted sheet one size bigger than your mattress and start living your life
Well, my evening plans are ruined
It’s legally required that you lose a frisbee onto the roof within one hour of purchase
Just grow your own
Told my husband that I was the prettiest girl in Walmart today and he replied “No offense sweetie, but I’ve been the prettiest girl at Walmart”
What if instead of yelling out “Oh God” during sex you yelled “Okie Dokie!”
Is fake venison called venisn’t
Me: *barges into the room*
How dare you accuse me of eavesdropping!
My kids are yelling and fighting, again.
I really should have Adopted a Highway instead.