Funny Tweeter

Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets

We're redesigning Funny Tweeter. Your feedback is always welcome. Talk to us at @funTweeters

Page of FilthyRichmond's best tweets

@FilthyRichmond : Accidentally got two shots of hand sanitizer so if you need me I'll be rubbing my hands together for the rest of my life.

@FilthyRichmond: Please refrain from telling elderly election volunteers to "work that poll".

@FilthyRichmond: A box of Cadbury creme eggs just propositioned me. Now we're in a van together.

@FilthyRichmond: I would bring my dog a nice jerky treat from Colorado, but he only eats local, sustainable cat turds.

@FilthyRichmond: I got tired of our restroom smelling like other people's crap so I placed a chunk of mine behind the hot air vent.

@FilthyRichmond: Always crush and snort your first pill on the pharmacy counter to make sure they're not passing you some fake shit.

@FilthyRichmond: Our son brought weed to Show & Tell and the teacher sent him home with $50 pinned to his shirt.