@FullMetalMommy

Chin up divorced people; lots of us smug married parents envy your 50/50 custody agreement.

@FullMetalMommy

My Obgyn suggested I cut carbs to maintain a healthier pregnancy weight.
Frankly, I’d rather cut the Obgyn.

@FullMetalMommy

My husband brought home one happy meal for two kids.
Frankly things would have been less dramatic if he’d brought home a girlfriend.