The most difficult part of this whole coronavirus covid-19 thing has been no free samples at Costco.
I want you to be cuter than you are, but alas I am drunk and you are a tree.
Don’t go chasin’ waterfalls. If a waterfall isn’t staying in place you probably have bigger things to worry about. Run for your life.
Yes, autocorrect, I wanted to ask if she was all tight. Thank you. Now I know.
(Don’t do it, don’t do it, don’t do it.)
Text: Hey what are you up to?
“Why yes, you can use my phone for a second.”