I hate it when you ask what you thought was a simple question in a meeting at work, and it turns into another meeting.
It’s Monday, but at what cost?
Starting all my work emails today with, “to whom it’s about to concern”.
I love the word “rapscallion”, not only are you a rascal but you’re also being a bit of a spring onion about it too.
I think I can now safely say that none of my co-workers were “personality hires”.
No one judges you harder than a dental receptionist when you don’t know if you’ll be free at 2pm on a random Tuesday, in six months time.
My ducks may not be in a row, but at least they’re having fun. Your ducks probably hate you for making them line up like that.
Watched a movie on Netflix last night that was so bad, I walked out of my own house.
Well, well, well. How the wheels on the bus have gone round and round.
I remember when a computer didn’t automatically connect to the internet, it used to make a screaming noise. We should have listened.
Resteraunts call themselves gastropubs and eateries so they don’t have to spell restarunt.
I’m no good at the pole vault either.
*me flirting
Please don’t buy my book on reverse psychology.
I’ve been doing a lot of thinking recently, and I’ve decided that I really don’t want to do that any more.
Me *retaining absolutely nothing you just said*: Yeah, got all that.