@Grommit56

Celery. For when you really need to chew your water.

@Grommit56

I don’t want to whine about how muggy it is but there’s a smallmouth bass right now hanging behind my right shoulder spell checking my tweet.

He says it’s ok.

@Grommit56

“No. No, I’m sorry, but there must absolutely be a hole right here.”

My dog, after removing the top soil I put in a hole she hadn’t touched in well over a year.

@Grommit56

If you like more than one type of pasta does that make you bilinguini?

@Grommit56

So I recently learned that that plastic thing you pull off the top of the Pringles can can be put back on so it’s like you never opened it.

Still not sure why you would need this though.

@Grommit56

I think I may have screwed up. When I saw on here how the ladies liked the dad bod I went and got 3.

@Grommit56

I remember when hashtag meant it was your turn to fill the pipe.

@Grommit56

Instead of the little blue bird Twitter should have used a rooster for it’s emblem.

What could represent this place better than a creature that starts screaming every time a new day begins?

@Grommit56

In high school I was voted “I’m not really sure who that guy is”.

@Grommit56

Imagine the excitement of the first scientist to travel between parallel dimensions. He’ll be beside himself.