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Page of Grommit56's best tweets

@Grommit56 : I remember when hashtag meant it was your turn to fill the pipe.

@Grommit56: Instead of the little blue bird Twitter should have used a rooster for it's emblem.

What could represent this place better than a creature that starts screaming every time a new day begins?

@Grommit56: In high school I was voted "I'm not really sure who that guy is".

@Grommit56: Imagine the excitement of the first scientist to travel between parallel dimensions. He'll be beside himself.

@Grommit56: A ghost appears in the room. It wants to tell me something, but won't speak. It throws up it's hands, as if trapped in another world.

Yeah, great. Just my luck I get haunted by a phantomime.

@Grommit56: Ooh, sorry, I totally misunderstood what you meant by "Come at me, bro".

I'll get you a towel.

@Grommit56: You hear about separate beds or even bedrooms saving a marriage.

Bullshit. Separate pizzas is the key to happiness. Trust me on this.

@Grommit56: This Coke-Pepsi debate makes me laugh sometimes. It's frigging cola. Who cares?

Says the guy who is horrified that people like Skippy peanut butter when there's Jif.

@Grommit56: Every time someone puts "taken" in their bios, Liam Neeson starts killing people.

@Grommit56: Listens to you abuse me for my cargo shorts.

Reaches into pocket. Pulls out pack of peanut butter cheese crackers. Hands them to you.

I trust that will be the end of that.