You know you’re getting old when you have to have a drink to motivate you to go out & have a drink.
Everyone always wants to date the hot crazy chick…..Till you’re standing outside watching your house burn.
The “Beware of Cat” sign posted outside my house doesn’t seem to be having the desired affect.
Happy Thursday guys and remember. If you can’t spot the douche at work today, then it’s probably you.
If you’re a grown man walkin around with a winter hat that has animal ears I can tell that @ some point people used 2 take your lunch money
For the record ladies, your insecurities about your bodies is a bigger turn off to guys than your bodies ever could be.
Not sure if i should be proud of this or not, but our employee handbook had 37 new rules added since i started working here.
Whenever someone asks how i’m doing & walks away before i answer..I write “GREAT” on the side of thier car with my keys!
All of my best ideas involve jail time.
My phone dies quicker than the black guy in a horror movie.