Me: It’s not working out between us. You’re too suffocating.

Darth Vader:


Quarantine log, Day 8:

Cat: I need you to run to the store for me.

Me: What for? You have plenty of food.

Cat: I got into the treats last night. I’m almost out.


Me: You can talk!


Since my cat keeps waking me up at three in the morning, I’ve decided to wake him up every day at three in the afternoon.