Feet so ugly, you understand why your socks go missing.
Social norms ?
We grew up thinking it’s perfectly normal that Tom and Jerry were always naked and only wore swimsuits when at the beach.
Ok, but if Kit Kats are filled with other broken Kit Kats, how did they make the first Kit kat ever?
I’m an independent woman. I laugh at my own jokes.
Never trust someone who acts as if nothing happened when you meet them right after you had an amazing dream about them.
Welcome to your 40’s. Squinting’s not helping anymore. Now you have to take pics of the products you want to buy, then enlarge them to read their composition.
-Conspiracy theorists: The moon landings were fake.
-Me: I know!!! The moon doesn’t exist.
When you show someone a photo on your phone and they start scrolling through your photos, it’s legal to slap their nosy face.
Fridges are proof that it’s what’s inside that matters and not how you look like on the outside.
Please don’t ask her what she wants for Valentine’s day. She’ll say she wants nothing. You’ll believe her and we both know how it’s going to end.
As your mom always said, “Heavy is the head that wears the clown.”
Studies say that if you sleep on the right side of a bed, it means you don’t sleep on its left side.
You know you’re ordering too much takeout food when the delivery guy replies ” it’s me” when you ask who’s at the door.
If she says “I have a question but don’t lie”, just know that she already has eight photos, three witnesses, a voice message and eighty six screenshots.
What happens in the elevator stays in the elevator.