Relationship status: Putting aloe on the wall and rubbing against it to apply in places that I can’t reach.
If someone calls me “boo” I automatically assume they’re trying to scare me.
Just got unfollowed by exorcist scary looking lady with crazy eyes who has “will get in cars with strangers” in her bio. I’m hiding……..
Twerking is the crocs of dancing.
My signature move is asking a co-worker wearing a suit on dress down Fridays, “how did the job interview go?” in front of everyone.