I’ve been misusing the term “sunk cost fallacy” for years but it’s too late to stop now.
You Might Also Like
Got fired from the call center for changing all the ringtones to “Baby Shark”.
when the moon is out in the middle of the day it’s like oh no they called you in on your day off
A friend described me as a ‘no maintenance’ type
And I have no idea whether to be happy or offended
A $300 dollar bat won’t fix a $2 dollar swing
-life lessons from Softball Coach
Based on how he reacts, you’d think my dog’s entire family was killed by pizza delivery guys.
He danced with wolves. I’m running with beehives.
Sex is great but have you ever told some dude that there wasn’t enough room for the two of you on a very large floating door after your ship sank to the bottom of the ocean on it’s maiden voyage?
I was going to fake my own death but I didn’t want to have to start a new Twitter account from scratch.
Okay hear me out.
I cooked up bacon in my cast iron, then made sausage patties in the bacon grease, and THEN made gravy out of the bacon AND sausage grease.
I’d marry me
I shouldn’t play with Legos? It says “Ages 7 & Up”. 30 is higher than 7.
Instead of calling me immature, you need to go take a math class.
But weight, there’s more!
– Thanksgiving
Doctor: have you been getting enough fiber?
Me: this summer I accidentally ate a fly
*ruins your party with a can of Serious String*
[during sex]
Me: So do you LIKE like me or
She’s a 10 which makes it hard for her to find decent shoes.
Everybody just wants to get off…
….This elevator because that guy stinks
My girlfriend just got the definition of mansplaining wrong and now I don’t know what to do.
am dying at this guy in the abercrombie&fitch netflix documentary explaining the concept of a shopping mall
Plot twist: Dogs and cats do not adjust their clocks to Daylight Saving Time. Meals will be expected at the regularly appointed hour.
“Lord, can I have a pony?” Sure. Just as soon as I get a prayer from a pony asking for a little girl with no clue how to take care of it.
Spice up your boring roofing job by wearing roller skates.
when spiderman jumps from building to building why isn’t it called peter parkour
still think about that time in high school when the track team captain printed out a list of people who owed money for team shirts and forgot to pick it up after class. she got called down to the principal’s office because it was titled “People Who Have to Pay”
A cat walks into a bar. The bartender laughs and says, “Let me guess, you want a Moscow mew? Or a vodcat martini? Maybe a purry furry daiquiri?”
The cat scowls. “I’ve been working all day, and now I need a real drink, not a silly pun. Shut up and give me a whisker sour.”
I sent my boyfriend a picture of my taco. Yeah, he was disappointed that wasn’t a euphemism as well.
neighbor complimenting my jack-o-lantern: wow is that hand carved?
me: *wiggling my fingers* haha no it’s real.
I made an appointment for laser hair removal then remembered that I don’t have any laser hair.
27 years ago I snot-bubble cried during Mufasa’s death scene and I am now while watching it with my 8 year old AND THAT CYBORG DIDN’T SHED ONE DAMN TEAR!!!
Diarrhea. Having it. Spelling it.
Everything about it is shit.
[revenge plan]
*invent miniaturisation machine.
*shrink to tiny size.
*crawl all over sleeping spider’s face.