Sure the blue urinal cakes LOOK delicious but I’ve learned my lesson
I’ll do unspeakable things to you, baby, like vqtkjx and zqkpmr.
I’m failing my French class, or should I say “Ich bin versagen mein Franzosisch klasse”
I bought the extended play version of Layla in 1972 and it just ended
“did I catch you at a bad time?”
– yeah, I’m awake and I’m sober
Cool I just discovered I can speak my tweets into my phone exclamation mark
I baked cookies in an EZ Bake oven when I was eleven and now they’re ready.
local police are looking for a peeping tom, I’m heading over to pick up an application
Autoerotic asphyxiation? No thanks, I’m not much of a car guy.
The Church used to teach that all babies that die go to Limbo, but it was easy for them because they’re so short.
About to go for a run, because shoplifting
For the low, low price of $14.95, I’ll send you my instructional DVD, “How to Succeed as a Con Man.”
I won the local hot dog eating contest and didn’t even know I was competing.
The “self-lubricated catheter” and the “discreet pocket catheter” have me rethinking what role catheters ought to be playing in my life.
All these years you thought your grandma had Alzheimers, and turns out she just didn’t want to talk to you.