Did it hurt when YOU fell from heaven?
If so, contact the law offices of Leon Molowitz, and get the monetary compensation you deserve!
Apparently the maximum number of times you can keep getting back in line for Communion wafers is 4.
The nephew I’m babysitting has been in a corn maze since Thursday, but I rationalize by thinking he has plenty to eat.
I’m crowd funding an organic lettuce purchase from Whole Foods.
Sorry, there’s a technical problem preventing me from RTing your tweets. Technically they’re not funny.
I think my downstairs neighbors are beginning to suspect I’m living in their attic.