Don’t be fooled, sheeple. That Blood Moon thing tomorrow night? Just a ploy by Big Nature to get us to look up from our phones.
My husband told me today’s Wordle word as soon as I woke up, so he’s up for grabs if anyone’s interested.
By the end of shelter at home, my house will be spotless. Oh sure, I’ll be drunk and confused, but so will the germs.
I haven’t won anything since I did my kid’s fifth grade science fair project.
You learn something new every day.
Except yesterday. Yesterday was a washout.
My efforts to lose weight are starting to pay off. I gained only three pounds this month.
When the world is about to end, I hope we know about it in advance so I can stop doing laundry.
My husband isn’t drinking while he trains for a marathon. There’s all this pressure on me to be supportive, so, reluctantly, I’m now drinking for both of us.
My husband ran 13 miles this morning for fun. I had cookies for breakfast. It’s nice to be the sane one for a change.
WTF, marathoners? I don’t even like to drive 26 miles.
It’s only a matter of time before the zombies are afraid to eat our brains because we’re such idiots.
My son was so excited to get a text from his beloved mama, he responded only eight hours later with a heartfelt “aight.”
The thing that makes me suspicious of hair ties is you have either 25 of them, which show up on every surface of the house and the bottom of your bag, or zero. There is no in between.
Do people who talk on their phones while driving know you can use driving as an excuse to avoid talking on the phone?
I was really getting my act together–eating right, exercising regularly, looking hot, feeling strong, and doing good work. Then I woke up.