I’ve reached the age where I randomly yell things like “manifest!” because the word I forgot 15 hours ago has finally come to me.
People complain about jury duty as if listening to true crime all day and being sequestered at night isn’t secretly every mother’s fantasy.
That moment of panic when they invite you inside at the start of the birthday party you thought was a drop off.
My middle-schooler who happens to be at Comedy Camp this week just caught me using my fingers to calculate the month then ran to write it down so his final showcase should be sufficiently horrifying.
I’ve been texting with “Isla’s mom” for 3 years. When is a good time to ask her her name?
I wanted to do a random act of kindness, so I took a parking ticket off a car and threw it in the garbage. Boom ticket gone.
Trying a thing where I convince my boss today is Friday. Wore jeans, asked about her weekend plans, emailed her the Friday cafeteria specials & wished her a great weekend. Happy Friday everyone!
Genetics dictate that if two people who refuse to talk before coffee have children, their children will carry the before coffee chatty gene
I just want to be rich enough to stop having to pretend that I’m getting work done
In hell, you wait for a ‘verify your email address’ email that never arrives.
My daughter is begging to get her ears pierced and promised she’d “still” listen to me even with holes in her ears.
Roadtripping with my family has taught me that my marriage can withstand anything except roadtripping with my family.
How quickly family vacations go from omg we only have 4 days left to omg we still have 4 days left
11yo: Are we there yet?
Me: Minutes away
11yo: Technically we’re always minutes away from everything, we’re minutes away from death right now
My favourite child is the one who just told me I’m so funny. Don’t know her name yet but she lives down the street.