Brushed the fur off my couch and made another cat.
Cosmetology school was a real letdown. Anyone wanna buy a spacesuit?
My sexual orientation is definitely Landscape. I dabbled with Portrait but my legs got tired.
Construction sites are dangerous places. I nearly blacked out holding in my stomach as I walked past one.
Given my love of animals and hatred of housework, I predict my cause of death will be choking on a fur ball.
I admire women with the restraint to draw on their eyebrows. I wouldn’t be able to stop until I’d added glasses and a moustache.