@J0hnnyBlaze: When people with bible quotes in their bio follow me...I don't know man. I think you're gonna have a bad time
@J0hnnyBlaze: Home Alone is my favorite movie about how child neglect and bad parenting is hilarious
*gets a snack*
*turns on tv*
*glances at twitter for 8 seconds*
@J0hnnyBlaze: If she didn't reply to any of your 20 texts, she probably doesn't have good cell service. Definitely don't stop texting her
@J0hnnyBlaze: How do girls remember every word of an argument? I don't remember what I had for dinner and I'm eating it now
@J0hnnyBlaze: "Omg, I literally just died"
-people who literally don't know what literally means
@J0hnnyBlaze: Me: "Excuse me, hi"
Her: "Um, I have a boyfriend"
Me: "Good for you. I was trying to say your herpes cream fell out of your purse"