Hey folks, this is Don Key!
Come on down to Key’s Automotive for.. uh-
[camera still rolling]
holy shit .. donkey. my name is donkey
In my youth, there was no “snapschapts”.
If you liked a young lady, you’d draw a proper picture of your genitals and send it to her parents.
*talking into the phone, loudly enough
that I know those ladies can hear me*
WHATS THAT? MY SPACESHIP IS READY? GREAT, THANKS BARACK. OBAMA.
a little too long, but basically a perfect tweet
Kanye on the beach, by the water, holding two large conch shells up to either ear.
“That’s incredible”, he says
“When did I record this?”
A video montage of all the times my foot, still wet from the shower, has clung to my underwear as I pull them on, and I’ve lost my balance.
You can call me a “simpleton” if you
But I ask you this.
What is that. What is simpleton, is that
like a good or bad thing, not sure
Give a dog a bone and he’ll be like,
“Oh wow, I love these, thanks”
Teach a dog to bone and he’ll be like, “dude, I got this”
Things I Suck At:
1. straws, ha ha jk lol
2. Parallel parking, no seriously, I’m really terrible at this
3. straws, haha same joke as before
Damn girl, are you my cable remote? Because you are weirdly designed and very confusing, and does this row of buttons even do anything?