You have two wolves inside you.
Should have ordered an appetizer.
“You better not laugh. You better not cry.” — Santa Claus, gynecologist
I was once killed by a shark escalator.
Having a kitten around is great, because I was definitely missing being randomly assaulted by five pounds of panicky barbed wire as silent as a shadow in my life.
My service cat has walked me into traffic 14 times today.
I’m not fat. I’m famine proof.
Give a man a fish, he eats today.
Teach a man to fish, he gets drunk in a boat.