My phone is so dry I haven’t even gotten a text from a politician
I got tricked into going for a 10 mile hike for a waterfall that ended up being 2 feet tall. Don’t talk to me.
People who play golf don’t concern me nearly as much as the people who watch it
Don’t tell me about your problems. I have to explain to my son why all of his baby teeth are in my nightstand.
Just randomly thinking about the guy I dated that broke up with me because I used a chicken tender like a spoon to eat mashed potatoes
Men, it’s really simple. We want everything, but nothing, at the same time or different times, sometimes but not always.