I have a memory like one of those big grey things you know the ones I mean.
“I’ve said too much already.“
“All you did was blink.”
“Yeah, but twice.”
You make me want to be a better home and garden.
It’s about time you stopped being a bystander and became a passerby.
This day in history. 1976. 80-year-old choreographer Busby Berkeley died tragically when he wandered absently into a circle of high kicking showgirls.
I’m swilling port like a British butler who had a rough afternoon at the races.
“What’s that?”
“It’s a therapy cat.”
“It looks like a chihuahua.”
“That’s why the therapy.”
You don’t want to see me when you’re angry.
I don’t know you well so I’m sorry I called you a dink and not the more formal dinkus.
This day in history. 2000. International Mother Language Day recognizes the cultural significance of such phrases as “Don’t make me come over there!” and “Because I said so!”
This day in history. 2004. Ken announced that he had broken things off with Barbie but not to avoid another outrageously extravagant Valentine’s Day no not at all.
The dog ate my unified theory of the universe.
This wombat looked more fun in the catalogue.
I thought it would be good for the environment if I had less grass to waste water on so I put a pool in.
Zen master: Why are you still tweeting? The validation isn’t real.
Me: Neither are you.
Zen master: Oh bugger.