There were over 14,000 wars before McDonalds launched the Dollar Menu. Since launching it, there’s only been 32. Those are just the facts.
Some say cheetahs are the fastest animal at 60 mph. Not true. Dogs have been clocked at 18,000 mph when the Soviets launched one into space.
Oranges got their name from their orange juice-like flavor and orange juice-like color.
You gotta admit that humans are the ultimate #1 lifeform because we’re essentially half mermaid but we also have legs for kicking and stuff.
Of course climate change is man-made. It’s all been meticulously orchestrated by the Titanic survivors, seeking revenge on that iceberg.
The sauciest 1% of Americans are saucier than the bottom 95% combined.
My “friend” Adam gave me an electric toothbrush for my birthday. Completely unnecessary. My gas-powered toothbrush still runs fine, “Adam.”
Crazy but true: Over 80 percent of twins seperated at birth have the same exact birthday.
There will be no screen names left for our children’s children.
Was out on the golf course and shot an eagle at Hole 9. Mom doesn’t believe me, but wait till she sees the eagle.
The Grapes of Wrath 2: The Raisins of Revenge
The real reason Batman only comes out at night is because he’d get disastrous tanlines wearing that mask during the day.
Kinda cool how Earth is the largest planet in the whole world.
Humans are 58% water. Jellyfish are 95% water. Therefore, humans are 61% jellyfish.
I suppose I should be thankful that I’m a single adult. Life would be much more complicated if I were multiple adults.