James Bond is the type of top secret spy who announces who he is, then shoots everyone and sets off a bomb while doing absolutely no spying.
Getting white carpet installed, then inviting everyone over for a spaghetti sauce and red wine party.
I was about to commit suicide, but then a Nicki Minaj song came on the radio — so I committed suicide twice.
When a dog’s stomach starts growling, it’s either hungry, or pregnant.
If you ever feel stupid, just remember that every day, people are searching the internet to find out “Is the drug from LIMITLESS real?”
All in favor of imitating Spanish women say “Aye-yi-yi.”