@Julian_Deane

My computer keeps trying to turn me. asked if Im a robot again. No mate still not a robot.

@Julian_Deane

Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.

@Julian_Deane

Money’s missing from under my pillow, I think I’ve been visited by the teef fairy.

@Julian_Deane

We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.

@Julian_Deane

With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?

@Julian_Deane

Not saying I’m special but kids these days never have any money behind their ears.

@Julian_Deane

Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.

@Julian_Deane

Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married.