Your daily dose of unadulterated funny tweets
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@Julian_Deane : My computer keeps trying to turn me. asked if Im a robot again. No mate still not a robot.
@Julian_Deane: I'm completely over my ex, is the name of my poem to her
@Julian_Deane: Let’s move on now. if I had a pound for every time I heard a Brexit joke this week I’d nearly have a Euro.
@Julian_Deane: Money’s missing from under my pillow, I think I've been visited by the teef fairy.
@Julian_Deane: We’ve run out of coffee so my girlfriend pressured me into knocking next door. So I knocked and awkwardly asked them to go to the shops.
@Julian_Deane: With all the ways to contact me on social media these days the police still smash through my door unannounced again?
@Julian_Deane: I caught my nephew doing drugs with me last night.
@Julian_Deane: Not saying I'm special but kids these days never have any money behind their ears.
@Julian_Deane: Double whammy. First date is turning out to be fun & I also go to meet my hero Chris Hansen from Catch a Predator.
@Julian_Deane: Before I proposed to my GF I asked her father but he was already married.