@JustBeingEmma

When you’re anti-social, knowing you’re not alone is both comforting and disconcerting.

@JustBeingEmma

My second child was so overdue, when we left the hospital we dropped her off at kindergaten.

@JustBeingEmma

Him: You can’t give the cat treats right after he tripped me on the stairs. He’ll think it’s a reward.
Me: It is.

@JustBeingEmma

I’ve spent 8 hours cleaning my house!! Keep in mind that this is over a period of 25 years, but still.

@JustBeingEmma

I would like to give a big shout out to the one person in my life who doesn’t accuse me of being insane. So, thank you, to the little old lady who lives in my hair.

@JustBeingEmma

I found a YouTube video demonstrating a 5 minute speed clean. It was 25 minutes long.

@JustBeingEmma

I dream of writing a fat woman’s cookbook. I’ll call it, “50 Shades of Gravy.”

@JustBeingEmma

I have interests besides avoiding housework. In fact, I have a long list of things I’m interested in avoiding.

@JustBeingEmma

Him: When I told you the chicken was good, I lied.
Me: That’s okay. I lied when I said it was chicken.