When someone invites me to their home, and I see more than 3 cars outside, I just keep on driving. Just in case it’s an intervention!馃ぃ馃ぃ馃ぃ
I just unplugged my WIFI and heard someone yell WTF from across the street!
To the lady who flipped me off when I honked at you, your phone probably isn’t on top of your car anymore!
I couldn’t afford an Ancestry DNA kit, so I announced that I won the lottery. I soon found out who my relatives are.
My brother, the dentist is getting an award tomorrow. It’s a little plaque!馃槀馃槀馃槀
I got gas today for $1.39. Unfortunately, it was at Taco Bell!!