My son just showed me something he made and asked “Do you like it, or do you love it?” and those are the only options I’m giving people from now on
My kid woke up sick and told me he was gonna eat a bunch of junk food since ‘obviously vitamins don’t work’ and I think we should consider his position
“Are you fine being hugged while you pee?” is a question someone should’ve asked me before I had kids.
Welcome to parenting: You didn’t eat any, but you have syrup on you now.
My son just said he’s going to call me “Squishy” to match my stomach and now I need to have another kid just so I can have a favorite
All I’m saying is that I’ve chaperoned a 25 student class field trip and you’re definitely in trouble if you lose even one of them.
Before you ask me to proofread anything, know that I spent 30 years thinking “FAQs” was short for “Facts”.
Me: <throws caution to the wind>
Also Me: <panics and gathers up as many pieces of caution as possible before they scatter>