It’s getting harder and harder to watch teen shows and movies and not side with the parents
Told my daughter that whoever takes the longest nap gets to choose what’s for dinner.
And now we wait.
My daughter has decided she loves giving “massages”, or as I like to call them, “tests of mom’s pain tolerance”
When I was 22 I’d stay up late and wake up early just so I could fit more in my day
Now if there’s more than 2 things on my agenda I need a nap
Things books give you unrealistic expectations for:
-mysteriously inheriting from a stranger
-solving murders with zero actual training
-anything romantic ever
Until the day I die I will think of the 90s as 10 years ago
When your daughter asks “are your snacks more important than me??” you should NOT pause to think.
I know this now.
Make a dating service for introverts and call it Mumble
I love my sister now but when we were young I would have traded her for a bag of chips and a soda
The faster the ponytail bounces the more purposeful the woman walking
Daughter, who can clearly see me cleaning the toilet: “Mom do you like being a grownup?”
I like to carry binoculars when hiking so that when I make frequent stops it looks like I’m appreciating nature instead of fighting for air
If you can’t handle me at my worst you’re really missing out on some interesting things to tell your therapist
The number of decades in your age directly correlates to the days of recovery you need after a night out