@KissabiX: God: So the rattlesnake has one of the deadliest poisons... now what?
Angel: Put some maracas on its tail, so it's permanently pissed off
@KissabiX: inventor of acupuncture playing with a voodoo doll: ᶦ ʷᵃⁿᵗ ᵗᵒ ᵈᵒ ᵗʰᶦˢ ʷᶦᵗʰ ʳᵉᵃˡ ᵖᵉᵒᵖˡᵉ
@KissabiX: [during sex]
Me: yeah, you like that?
Him: mmhmm yeah
Me: *stopping abruptly & pointing at his mood ring* then why is that white?
@KissabiX: If you break a mirror is it 7 years bad luck for you or the person whose head you just smashed it over?
@KissabiX: [Me, drunk at 18]
THIS SHIT IS BANANAS
[Me, drunk now]
I SLEEP IN PAJAMAS
@KissabiX: Me: My back molar's really sensitive
Dentist: I'm not surprised, it's covered in plaque
Me: *angrily shushing him* I said REALLY sensitive
@KissabiX: Why is an antelope a completely different animal instead of two ants who fall desperately in love and romantically run away together to make a new life for themselves?