@LarrysTwin99

I just ate dinner. At 4pm. I am SO prepared for my 74th birthday

@LarrysTwin99

My wife suggested taking Ecstasy to help with sex and so far she’s banged three neighbors and the UPS guy

@LarrysTwin99

Guys, If you mistakenly ask a woman at work if she’s pregnant and she’s not, save face and ask if she wants to be pregnant

@LarrysTwin99

I’m going to throw up in my cat’s bed and see how she likes it