@Lerky

I’ve slept with enough babysitters to know how to raise a kid thanks mom

@Lerky

WHAT DO WE WANT?

RACE CAR NOISES!!!

WHEN DO WE WANT THEM??

NEEEEEEOOOOOOOOOOWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW

@Lerky

You can only regret what you remember.

-Tequila

@Lerky

Me: you’re like heroin.

Her: Why? Because you’re addicted to me?

Me: No, because you’re ruining my life.

@Lerky

Me: Hey Mr. DJ, do you take requests?

Dj: Yes.

M: Excellent, can you turn it down a bit.

@Lerky

Seriously, soup?

If I wanted to drink my lunch I would go to a bar.

@Lerky

“HI DO YOU WANT TO DRESS UP NICE SO WE CAN QUEUE OUTSIDE A CLUB & GET INSIDE & QUEUE UP TO BUY A DRINK & THEN QUEUE UP TO GO TO THE TOILET?”

@Lerky

I’m really worried Justin Timberlake is going to have me naked by the end of this song.