@LeslieInMpls

The cheapest way to make your lips look fuller is to trip on a dog toy, land flat on your face, then sit back and enjoy the swelling.

@LeslieInMpls

The last time I checked, I was a weirdo.

Let me check again. Yep, still a weirdo.

@LeslieInMpls

Fool me once, shame on you.
Fool me twice, shame on me.
Fool me 85,432 times, you’re a weatherman

@LeslieInMpls

I wonder if clouds ever look down on us and say “Hey look…that one is shaped like an idiot”.