@LimeyTheGreat

Panty-less waxed woman hanging off a bridge “I’m gonna jump into that canoe”. Me: “No that’s your reflection”.

@LimeyTheGreat

My youngest son can now reach the light switches, so don’t come over to my house, unless you’re really into raves or want to have a seizure.

@LimeyTheGreat

Went out to dinner last night & the hostess asked me “Where would you like to sit?” I replied “preferably on a seat.” #accomplished